In our first kiss
I felt the depth of your soul
I could taste forever
In our last kiss
I felt the depth of your deceit
I could taste her on you
ouch….someone is in trouble…nice contrast you set up between the two…
smiles. great to see you today…
I like this, but I feel like the rhythm of the last line is off. I wish it were one syllable shorter. You know what would be really funny? “I could taste her gum.” That would be pretty cool once it sunk in. :)
This is a very sad poem, caught between bliss and despair. I fear that too many have felt these feelings, a sad fact of life.
I love how you contrasted the first and last kiss. Sad commentary but skillfully done.
Thank you all for visiting and leaving comments.
wow, that’s palpable. nicely done
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