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May 15, 2012 / amivglobus

Last Kiss

In our first kiss
I felt the depth of your soul
I could taste forever

In our last kiss
I felt the depth of your deceit
I could taste her on you

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8 Comments

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  1. brian miller / May 15 2012 7:20 pm

    ouch….someone is in trouble…nice contrast you set up between the two…

  2. Shawna / May 15 2012 8:36 pm

    I like this, but I feel like the rhythm of the last line is off. I wish it were one syllable shorter. You know what would be really funny? “I could taste her gum.” That would be pretty cool once it sunk in. :)

  3. jessicamarie19 / May 16 2012 11:33 am

    Ouch!

  4. Chazinator / May 16 2012 3:43 pm

    This is a very sad poem, caught between bliss and despair. I fear that too many have felt these feelings, a sad fact of life.

  5. Victoria C. Slotto / May 16 2012 3:49 pm

    I love how you contrasted the first and last kiss. Sad commentary but skillfully done.

  6. amivglobus / May 20 2012 8:58 am

    Thank you all for visiting and leaving comments.

    {ami}

  7. Elliot / May 20 2012 10:01 pm

    wow, that’s palpable. nicely done

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